Happy Birthday to The Blasian Bytch Blog!

Today is my one year anniversary as a blogger and its been a fucking amazing year. This blog may have single handily got me through my last year of college, my last break up and so many crazy things in between.

I want to thank all my readers who stuck with me , engaged me in great conversations and even wrote me words of encouragement. Hell I'll even thank that weirdo that kept sending me videos of him masturbating to my pictures and you fellows have him to thank for the lack of non- cartoon N'jaila on this blog.

Its hard to type this sentence but this will be my last entry on The Blasian Bytch Blog. Since starting on blogger, I've lived in the constant fear that any day some jerk off with an axe to grind could flag my blog out of existence. I've been annoyed at the thought of censoring myself so the blog could adhere to Blogger.com's TOS. So I just refuse. Under these conditions my work cannot grow.

Thanks to Mr.Chien who believed in my and my writing when I thought I was a hack, and two other super special detonators I'm getting my chance to grow. The sun has set on The Blasian Bytch Blog but its rising for BlasianBytch.com , my own site that will house all original material from me. New stories, video, and reviews, as raunchy as I see fit.

So Good-bye Blasian Bytch Blog

and HELLO

BlasianBytch.com!

The Smutt Must FLOW!!

A dune reference.

Anyway, I have to apologize for the little hiatus I've taken, it was partly due to the holidays, but mostly it was because I'm working on something pretty big for this blog. Something that I hope will give me more freedom and a way to really be able to have more control of how I publish and what I'm able to publish.

Its hard for me to believe that I've been blogging an entire year almost! A year of sex, laughs, tears and personal growth. I'm planing a big move for my one year anniversary so I hope all my faithful followers will support me and bear with me through this transition.

I'm at a point in my life where literally the world is my oyster, I'm fresh out of college, single and in a position to go anywhere and do anything. Hopefully you readers , my fellow smut lovers, will be willing to be along for the ride. Hopefully I'll have another year of laugh, tears , growth and oh yeah, a lot cock. I really can't stress how much I love cock.

Happy Birthday to ME!

MY B-DAY WISH LIST

Today marks the anniversary of me coming bursting out my mommy and into the world. Well actually I slept through my own birth. They had to wake me up haha. I wonder what that says about me.

So here is my birthday wish list, I as the pros on Twitter @JaylaStarr @kyannalee and @kimoraklein what sex toy should I review next and here is what they suggested.

From Kyannalee:

"@BlasianBytch I'm more of a clitoris type of girl, I love my pocket rocket!!!!!" "
Its a toy that focuses on the clitoris, a classic I've never tries for myself. It can be purchased here

From Kimora Klein

"@BlasianBytch Anything made by njoy!!"
I had never heard anything about this company or its products but after a little research this green sex toy company has an impressive line of toys. The above looking VERY promising. Purchase it here

From Jayla Starr

"@BlasianBytch hitachi...... we vibe"
I'm gonna be honest that thing looks scary lol but I'll try it! It can be purchased here

Now all these toys cost well over what a newly graduated sex blogger can afford so this is my birthday wish list.

A Room of One's Own

I know I haven't posted in a little bit, don't worry I'm not abandoning ship. Why would I do this when this ship is almost turning one old!.

I've simply been thinking of the future. That future is my own domain, and more freedom. I want to be able to have longer chapter based stories , more illustrations, more interviews just MORE!

A lot of things are going to be changing for me, starting a career, my own business and being single for the first time since high school. My life is changing and this blog is changing too.

For the past few weeks I've been using the few spar hours I have to convert my brother's breakfast nook into my small office space/ writing area. I love him so much for supporting me with this and losing his kitchen table in the process.

Its been a little hard because My birthday is coming up and I always feel some hardcore blues around that time. Its on Dec. 19th the same day as my slain uncle. It will be hard to enjoy this day because he won't ever have another birthday.

Things will be picking up, new WIP will be posted in fact very soon I'll be posting Another Day in the Office. Here's a sneak peak.

Another Day At the Office

Jalia stood in front of the copier. The job he sent for her was large enough for two but he knew her pride barred her from asking for help. She would be collating and stapling for the next hour at least. Cursing his name the whole time yet obediently following his directions.

Her thick sable tresses hid the ear bud connected to her IPod Shuffle tucked discreetly in her bra. He only guessed she had them in by the way her head bobbed to the beat and her hips slightly swayed.

She was wearing a pair of shoes he bought for her for the first time, it was always exciting for him when she wore one if his gifts to the office. It reminded him that no matter home many times she winked at the Fed Ex guy or how funny she finds Partiv from Tech support she was his girl. He knew that his cock only satisfied her lust.

More to come soon!

Porn Stars Have Christmas Wishes Too!

One of my Bad-Ass Blasian Twitches is in need.

This is Jayla Starr you might know her from Ass Parade and numerous other quality adult sites. She is trying to get herself an Xbox360 elite. Her's was cruelly stolen She has spent years making sure your fantasies come true its time to give back. As a way to say thank you Jayla. Thank you for taking that "D" like the pro you are.

I implore you all to Click on the little red box below and do your part. As not what your favorite porn star can do for you ...but what you can do for your favorite porn star.

After all isn't this what the holidays are all about?

Edward Cullens Has an Ugly Sparkle Dink

Twilight Fans Can Finally Experience Edward's Twinkle Cock

I'm going to say this pretty plainly. I hate Twilight. In any form books, movies, and especially anyone over the age of 14 that thinks the books are well written and romantic. The main character Mary Sue- er Bella Swan has the personality of cardboard box. I don't understand the appeal but one thing that is now cemented in my mind is that fans of the series that are over 18 are the saddest fans ever. Even worst than Dragon Force fans.

While I was doing some Black Friday sex toy shopping I happened upon this...

Fuck you Internet, FUCK YOU.

Tantus Inc is a great dildo merchant as far as dildo merchants go but ... a sparkling pink cock? Seriously, why pander to the lowest common bracket of humanity, twitards? I'm not even going to bother wondering why they made a dildo fashioned after a preteen fantasy.

I was flabbergasted that the damn thing cost 40 bucks , 14 year olds don't have that kinda cash to blow on dick, middle aged mom do. Then my soul cried when I realized this is who they are marketing to. The over the hill twi-mom in her 5X "Team Edward" T-shirt rubbing one out to the sex lives of teens.

I'm also miffed that they gave him an mediocre cock. "The Vamp" as the call it is only 6.75 inches and 1 1/2 inches thick. Now account for the fact that you have to hold the thing in your hand you're geting like 3 and a half inched of undead cock. Boo.

I come off feeling some type of why knowing that this thing is designed to go in the freezer and stay cold. Necrophilia can be mainstream as long as glitter is involved I guess.

Another thing that pisses me off is the site sugest movies for you to enjoy with this:

Tantus suggests the following movies if you enjoy The Vamp. Talk about Expert Advice!

• The Lost Boys
• Fright Night 1 and 2
• Interview with the Vampire
• Bram Stoker's Dracula
• True Blood TV Series
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV Series
• Angel TV Series

If one wants to fuck Edward , I'm pretty sure they don't have the sense of humor to enjoy Whedon , the attention span to sit through Bram Stoker's Dracula and sex scares you so that takes out True Blood and Interview with a Vampire. Twilight fans don't like real vampire, they like hollow fantasies of popularity and not fucking vampires until they marry you.

Oh and the damn thing doesn't even sparkle that much

Happy Turkey Day!

You're Going LOVE Eating This ASS!

Because it's made of chocolate!

This little bite of WTF was emailed to me by a reader. The Incredible Edible Anus is made by the chocolatiers of Bisous and it handcrafted out of fine Belgian chocolate. If you order from thier site www.EdibleAnus.com ( you just can't make this shit up) you will receive anuses made of dark, milk and white chocolate. The smallest amount anus you can order is 5 boxes each containing 3 anuses. It will set you back about 60 USD.

Clearly...

I'm somewhat flabbergasted that there was a large enough demand for candy anus that a company would specialize in them - but in a world of Lolicocks and gummy boobs a chocolate anus doesn't seem that weird does it? Ok ,yes it does. Its plenty freaky lol. I wonder if some British bloke is misting himself with a little Vulva while rimming one of these coco assholes.

For a limited time they are offering a solid silver anus for the low low price of 250 pounds! I guess some people need a paper weight they can finger?

I was a little put off by this blurb from the site.
I guess if your serious about your genital shaped confections you can't possibly settle for something made by some filthy Chinaman. I'm going to pass on ordering these I've got a perfectly edible smack-able chocolate ass of my own.

Sweet Dreams Of You

I'm standing in a dark club, I'm wearing lingerie, black , red , lace and garters. My stockings feel soft against my skin. All around me there's red, the velvet curtains lining the walls, my lipstick, the jewel on my neck and your tie. You're wearing a black on black suit and the your bright red tie draws me to you.

Your smile inviting, I know who you are even from far away. My Chinese Oppa. The closer I get the easier it is to see your sun kissed skin. Deep eyes. Of course that seductive slight smile.

There are so many people that its hard to get to you, but when I finally do you take my hand and we walk to a private room. You sit on the red couch and ask me to dance for you on the single pole a few feet in front of you. You smile for me as I do my tricks and spins on the pole. I love your smile it make me feel rewarded.

I dismount the pole and I crawl to you. The carpet is soft like silky fur. I want more than anything in the world to please you. You take your cock out and kiss and tease it before taking it deep into my mouth. You're moaning and I love it. The more you moan the more excited I get, the more excited I get the more enthusiastically and deep I suck you. Your moans are loud and your body is moves with the intense feeling ebbing, right before the big wave crash you run your hand through my hair. You grab a hand full of it and force my head back , you paint my lips and chin with your hot cum.

You tell me I've been a good girl.

You lie me on the couch and fuck me. Really no way to describe it - we are not making love, its too intense to just be sex. Your red tie is dangling in my face as you hold my knees to my ears.

You tell me you want to cum in all my holes. I beg you too.

Your cock is deeper in me than any man has ever been and can feel myself close to climax. Ever thrust is bringing me just a little closer. When I finally arrive everything becomes a blur of darkness and red.

When I wake up my clit is still hard and aroused, I slide my hand into my pajama bottoms, it shocking how wet I am. Even my nipples are erect. I think about texting you to tell you about the dream you've inspired- but it's 4:30 in the morning. I feel so close to orgasm. My hand is already at my wet pussy, I rub my clit lightly and caress my breast with the other hand. In no time I'm cumming. I roll on my side with a satisfied smile and drift back to sleep hoping to have more sweet dreams of you.

Toy Review: The Blow Guard

One of the products that stuck out in my mind the most from Exxxotica NY '09 was the Blow Guard. The toy was designed by a real dentist who was there to personally tell explain his product.

The display featured not just some examples of the product which is a flexible mouth piece that has a removable vibrating bullet. It also had a loop of adult movies that featured the Blow Guard and let me tell you they were a great selling point. I found myself gazing at the screen and sighing. All I could think was... I want that. I want some mind numbing satisfaction. So as soon as I got home from the convention I went searching for the Blow Guard at my local sex shops. Sadly I couldn't find them in North Jersey but they are available for $27.99 plus shipping and handling on the Blow Guard website.

The blow guard works simply men put the blow guard on the top of their mouths and women on the bottom and then the fun begins.

This is advertised as a toy for couples, and I agree whole heartedly - don't whip out the blow guard and think you can pull off being sexy. This isn't something to whip out on a fling or a one night stand. I don't think I would feel comfortable enough using this thing on anyone other than BooBear. You have to be on an level of extreme trust and comfort with your partner. I'm talking the kind of relationship where cum bubbles are something to giggle over and one queef won't stop the show. If you two can just laugh at one another and get a little silly this toy it for you.

I say this because you will never know drool until you have a vibrating mechanism in your mouth. This is great because you won't really need the little pouch of sex tart lube that comes with the Blow Guard. What a godsend that extra spit is! When I first tried the lube I ended up running to the bathroom to wash my mouth out. The lube is super sweet and just unnatural tasting. It was almost vomit inducing nasty. Save the lube for anal because it already tastes like ass.

As for the device itself its fun for anyone who isn't shy about sloppy blow jobs. BooBear happens to have a lot in the girth department so I found there really wasn't enough room in my mouth for him and the blow guard . Even opening my mouth as much as I could there was little room and with all the saliva the blow guard wasn't staying in place. I was a little afraid it was going to slip out of place and BooBear was going to accidentally send it down my throat with one good thrust.

BooBear enjoyed the vibration of the Blow Guard which is POWERFUL, more so than most bullets. The size of the bullet is misleading as to just how powerful the vibration is. Unfortunately this powerful vibration makes you feel a weird sort of numbness. I can see where this would be great for girls that don't like sucking cock, when it comes to BooBear I love it. The Blow Guard might give a boost to your partners enjoyment but takes almost all of it away from the giver. For the ladies who loathe giving oral this is a blessing, you can literally just sit there and kinda move a bit and get your guy off. For us deep throat queens it might be an issue.

When it comes to oral sex on a woman this is really where the Blow Guard shines, its a great for stimulating the clit and keeping the gnashing teeth of an over excited but not very orally skilled lover from killing the mood.

Final verdict: Better on clits than dicks and only for couples that can keep it real and kinky at the same time.

For more info check out the official site: BlowGuard.com